Chapter 199 — Heartbreak

The Beast Sovereign nodded. "Yes. You find it laughable too, I expect? Yet in those days, it was for that purpose. Linglong, at that time, had already far surpassed the ancients in her mastery of the Wu arts; in all the world there was scarcely a rival for her, and among the Wu Clan all revered her as a god. In her boredom, what she did was to seek out another goal for herself. It sounds much like those cultivators of the Central Plains today—but the riddle of immortality has always belonged to the Way of Heaven. Though she was a woman of peerless brilliance, she could never see through it. At last, one day, she thought of a way that was not human."

"Not human."

"The span of a human life is always bounded; even with success in cultivation, one lives at most a few hundred years more. But things that are not human often live far longer, and the creations of heaven and earth—the baleful qi of yin and yang and the like—have endured unbroken since the world began. Once she thought of this, she devoted herself to study, and at last, out of that which had no life at all, she made me."

"She was truly remarkable," the woman said softly.

"Heh heh." The Beast Sovereign smiled faintly. "Yes, she was a truly remarkable woman. From the moment I came into this world, the first thing I saw upon waking was her. Then, for I know not how many years, my world held only her alone. Gradually I took form, and because my true nature was born of the baleful qi of heaven and earth, once I had consciousness I naturally began to absorb the baleful qi around me, and grew ever stronger."

"Only, she seemed to grow uneasy. The way she looked at me was no longer so kind. When my power at last began to be barely a match for hers—from that day on, she never smiled at me again."

"I was bewildered then, and did not know why. In truth, I did not know why my own power had grown so fast, either—but what did power mean to me? I only wanted to be with her, to be with her, that was all."

"You could have told her, and then she would have known, would she not?" the woman could not help saying.

"I did tell her—told her many times. Looking back now, it was probably much like a child coaxing its mother." A faint smile appeared at the corner of the Beast Sovereign's mouth, then vanished. "But she never believed it!"

The woman fell silent, and for a long while said nothing. The Beast Sovereign too fell silent, as though steeped in recollection.

The flames still burned in the fire basin, quivering gently in midair, as though they too were breathing.

Time seemed to have halted its steps in that dark place, pricking up its ears to listen!

The years gone by are ice that has frozen memory fast; drop by drop it melts, and slowly vanishes.

Who can call it back?

You, or I? Or are we all merely people gasping and running in the light of time, who in the end cannot outrun it, and slowly grow old, and vanish into that shadow—

"At last, one day, I no longer wished to stay forever in that room that held only her. I wanted to go out and see. That day, she had been gone a long while and still had not returned. I broke the seal she had set, opened the door of her room, and stepped out."

"There were many, many, many people—but every one of them, upon seeing me, cried out in terror and fled for their lives. Somehow, from that moment, I began to feel dread, and then rage, and at the last I felt a baleful qi rushing up from my heart. It was then that a dozen or so warriors, drawn by the commotion, came charging at me to kill me. I parried as I retreated; I did not want to fight them. I regretted it—I only wanted to be with my Linglong. I had only wanted to come out for a look—"

"I explained with all my might, tried with all my might to make them understand, but no one listened—until by mischance I killed the first one."

A long silence.

"That young warrior hung limp in my hands, his head slowly drooping, and bright red blood flowed from his body. I was stunned, and so were the others. Then they charged all the more savagely, and amid their shouts and curses I clearly heard weeping from somewhere far off—the kinsfolk of that warrior, weeping, I suppose! I do not know. But from the first moment I laid eyes on blood, my body had already begun to change. That bloodlust coiled around me like madness. I did not want to kill, but I could not control it, and so I struck, and I killed."

"I killed many people—many, many people—" The Beast Sovereign lowered his head, but his voice went on.

"I stood in the pool of blood, I know not how long, and slowly came to my senses. Then I saw, in the distance, amid a throng of countless people, Linglong had returned. She looked at me—fixed her eyes on me without blinking, her face pale beyond description. I did not know why; I was afraid. I felt that I truly had done wrong, but I did not know—I truly did not know what I had done wrong—"

"Then Linglong acted. With her own hands she struck at me. I would not strike back. I wanted to explain to her; I wanted to tell her that I would never dare come out again, that I would stay in that room and, from then on, ask only to be with her alone—nothing more could make me happier. Those words I said countless times, but not once did she take them in."

"Her Wu arts were beyond compare with those ordinary warriors. Soon my body was torn full of wounds—yet each time a wound was dealt, it would draw in the baleful qi around it and heal itself, and even I myself could feel that the more Linglong struck me, the faster my power grew. In the end Linglong discovered it too. Her face was ashen, as though in despair."

The Beast Sovereign was still smiling, still remembering—only his face, in the end, bore a few more traces of pain. "I slowly began to feel that Linglong truly hated me. She attacked me madly with all manner of Wu arts. My body might be deathless, but my heart hurt beyond bearing, and so in the end I ran away. And as I fled, everyone I met was terrified by me—it was only afterward that I learned that in the eyes of ordinary people, my appearance then was truly terrifying."

He gently patted the monstrous beast Taotie lying at his side. "My appearance then was far uglier than his."

"Leaving Linglong, I fled into the Ten Thousand Wild Mountains. Before long I found this cave and settled here for a time. But I wanted to return—with all my heart, in truth, I only wanted to be with Linglong. So in the end I did return. And what awaited me was this formation."

The flames in the fire basin crackled, as though answering the Beast Sovereign's words.

"I had never imagined that such dreadful power could exist in this world. With the might of the Xuanhuo Mirror, Linglong laid down the Eight Wicked Mystic Fire Formation and summoned the Fire Dragon of the Eight Desolations. Beneath that blazing flame that consumes all things under heaven, even I—deathless though I was—was burned until my vital essence was gravely wounded and my form utterly destroyed."

"I tried with all my might to tell Linglong that I wanted nothing else, that I only wanted to be with her, but she seemed not to hear a word of it and only wanted to burn me to death. In the end I fled in confusion and returned to this cave. I do not know why Linglong treated me so, but I was not resigned—I truly wanted to be with her."

"After I came back here, I recovered quickly, with the help of the wild, baleful qi of heaven and earth that is found only in these Ten Thousand Wild Mountains. Just as I meant to go quietly to find her again, she had already come after me. She brought seven so-called warriors with her and pursued me to this ancient cave. She came in herself and found me."