Chapter 428 — The Full Moon

When Old Madam Lu saw the heir of the Marquis of Changxing's wife and the others all clustered smilingly around Dou Zhiwei, she thought of Jiang Yan, and could not resist a glance toward the crowd.

She asked Ruotong, who was serving her tea, in a low voice, "How is it I haven't seen the young lady of the house?"

Ruotong smiled. "The young lady was here only a moment ago—something must have called her away." She craned her neck and looked all about, but did not see Jiang Yan either, and so said with a smile, "Shall I go and look for her, madam?"

With so many people about, it was likely she had gone off somewhere.

Old Madam Lu smiled. "No need. I only asked."

Hardly had the old lady finished speaking when the Fifth and Sixth Madams of the Dou family came over with smiles.

Old Madam Lu put the matter from her mind and fell to exchanging pleasantries with the Fifth and Sixth Madams.

But Jiang Ling, standing at Old Madam Lu's side, took note.

She had not seen Jiang Yan for a good while and could not help feeling uneasy. She asked several maids in succession, and all said they had not seen her. After thinking it over, she quietly slipped away to Bishui Pavilion.

Jiang Yan was sitting on the great heated kang by the window, working at her embroidery. Seeing Jiang Ling come to visit, she could not help flushing with embarrassment. "I saw that everything was well in hand on sister-in-law's side, and there was no one in need of my help, and I am a shallow creature besides—the more people there are, the less smoothly my tongue moves. I was afraid of making a fool of my brother and sister-in-law, so I hid myself away here."

Jiang Ling could not help sighing.

It was a mercy the Song family's line was thin and the collateral branches had long since been split off; otherwise, with all the aunts and in-laws about, with Jiang Yan's temperament she would have been picked clean to the bone.

She urged her, "There are few who take to strangers from birth; once you've met more people, you'll naturally be at ease. You don't even know—Old Madam Lu was asking after you just now!"

Jiang Yan lowered her head and plied her needle without a word.

Deep words to a shallow acquaintance—Jiang Ling thought it was not her place to urge further, and rose to take her leave.

But Jiang Yan was very fond of Jiang Ling, and seeing a trace of disappointment on her face, she grew anxious and caught at Jiang Ling's sleeve. "Sister-in-law does me too much honor; I am not one who fails to know kindness when I see it. It's only that they all like to stare at me—I, I... I am, after all, a person who cannot stand the light of day... My brother and sister-in-law are such good people, and it is I who have dragged them down..."

Jiang Ling was taken aback, and then suddenly understood.

Jiang Yan was afraid others would learn of her plight and hold her in contempt—and bring shame on Song Yan and Dou Yan.

She thought of how, after the Jiang family was confiscated, she had faced others' rebukes with no way to defend herself, and of the humiliation and indignation of it; and then she thought of Jiang Yan's plight, and her heart softened at once. When she looked at Jiang Yan again, it was with a warmth born of shared sorrow. "Don't mind them. Those people are only curious; when some fresh novelty comes along in the capital, they will naturally turn to gossiping about something else."

Jiang Yan's heart was very bitter. Jiang Ling's sincere words had touched the grief at the bottom of her heart, and she could not help saying, "My affair is not like other people's. They can talk of it for decades, and I am a useless creature, dragging out a wretched existence... I only want to find some place where no one knows me, and end my days there..." As she spoke, the corners of her eyes grew moist.

Jiang Ling, having met with misfortune in her own family, had more experience than most women, and was all the more moved by Jiang Yan's words. Tears fell from her eyes unwittingly.

Jiang Yan looked at her and was filled with remorse. She hurriedly drew out a handkerchief to wipe Jiang Ling's tears. "See what I am—sitting here perfectly well and letting my tongue run on at random, until I've made sister unhappy too."

Jiang Ling quickly took Jiang Yan's hand. "Don't say such things. We are cousins."

Those words had first been a way to cover over an awkward relation; spoken now, they carried a deep warmth.

The two looked at each other and smiled, and the sorrow of the moment was somewhat dispelled.

Jiang Ling knew that the past had become a knot in Jiang Yan's heart. She wanted to tell her of the fate that had befallen the Wei and He families, but when she thought that Jiang Yan bore not even a grudge against Li Yaoniang, who had ruined her, she swallowed the words back and turned to another way of comforting her. "Some things you have made more of than there are. Since our cousin has brought you into the household, he will surely take thought for you in every particular. The Wei-Li woman of Qingyuan County vanished without a trace as early as the Lantern Festival, while the young lady of the Yingzhenguo household, Jiang Yan, is the niece the Duchess loved best in life. So rest easy and stay in the Song house. If others stare at you, it is only because you look as though you were stamped from the same mold as our aunt—not for any other reason."

But Jiang Yan was more sensitive than she had imagined. "That is only a tale to comfort myself with. I look exactly like Madam Jiang, and now everyone is saying that I was born to Madam Jiang, and that Song Han was brought in from outside. There is no wall in the world that lets no wind through—one day they will know who I am."

And then some would pity her, but more would mock and scorn her.

Jiang Ling sighed.

Jiang Yan said, "Today is Yuanheng's happy day. Sister had best go and drink wine and watch the opera, and not let my affairs spoil her pleasure. Only, if anyone asks after me, sister must cover for me—I fear sister-in-law will look for me everywhere and be put to trouble."

Jiang Ling had no choice but to nod. "When everyone has a little leisure in a couple of days, I will come and see you again."

Jiang Yan saw Jiang Ling to the gate of Bishui Pavilion.

Jiang Ling went off to the flower hall.

Jiang Yan gazed at the exquisite pavilions and terraces of Bishui Pavilion, and suddenly felt a dreamlike unreality.

She did not want to return to Bishui Pavilion, and so, parting the flowers and brushing aside the willows, she stepped onto a little cobblestone path that ran outside it.

Yinghong dared not stop her, and followed silently behind.

Wandering on in this aimless way, Jiang Yan did not know where she had got to, but her feet began to ache.

She looked about her, and seeing an empty pavilion not far off, turned and walked toward it.

Along the walkway ahead came a youth of fifteen or sixteen, wearing a lilac-colored robe of fine cloth; at a glance he was plainly no servant of the inner courtyards.

Yinghong was badly startled and cried out in a loud voice, "Where did this raw young fool spring from? This is the inner court of the Duke of Yingguo—be off with you at once!"

The youth was alarmed and turned to run off.

But Jiang Yan had keen eyes, and recognized the boy as Huzi, one of Chen Jia's men.

She could not help saying, "Huzi, what are you doing here?"